When A Feller's Itchin' To Be Spanked

W'en us fellers stomp around, makin' lots o' noise,     Gramma says, "There's certain times come to little boys     W'en they need a shingle or the soft side of a plank;"     She says "we're a-itchin' for a right good spank."     An' she says, "Now thes you wait,     It's a-comin'--soon or late,     W'en a feller's itchin' fer a spank."     W'en a feller's out o' school, you know how he feels,     Gramma says we wriggle 'roun' like a lot o' eels.     W'y it's like a man that's thes home from out o' jail.     What's the use o' scoldin' if we pull Tray's tail?     Gramma says, tho', "Thes you wait,     It's a-comin'--soon or late,     You'se the boys that's itchin' to be spanked."     Cats is funny creatures an' I like to make 'em yowl,     Gramma alwus looks at me with a awful scowl     An' she says, "Young gentlemen, mamma should be thanked     Ef you'd get your knickerbockers right well spanked."     An' she says, "Now thes you wait,     It's a-comin'--soon or late,"     When a feller's itchin' to be spanked.     Ef you fin' the days is gettin' awful hot in school     An' you know a swimmin' place where it's nice and cool,     Er you know a cat-fish hole brimmin' full o' fish,     Whose a-goin' to set around school and wish?     'Tain't no use to hide your bait,     It's a-comin,--soon or late,     Wen a feller's itchin' to be spanked.     Ol' folks know most ever'thing 'bout the world, I guess,     Gramma does, we wish she knowed thes a little less,     But I alwus kind o' think it 'ud be as well     Ef they wouldn't alwus have to up an' tell;     We kids wish 'at they'd thes wait,     It's a-comin'--soon or late,     Wen a feller's itchin' to be spanked.