Twelve Articles[1]

I     LEST it may more quarrels breed,     I will never hear you read.     II     By disputing, I will never,     To convince you once endeavour.     III     When a paradox you stick to,     I will never contradict you.     IV     When I talk and you are heedless,     I will show no anger needless.     V     When your speeches are absurd,     I will ne'er object a word.     VI     When you furious argue wrong,     I will grieve and hold my tongue.     VII     Not a jest or humorous story     Will I ever tell before ye:     To be chidden for explaining,     When you quite mistake the meaning.     VIII     Never more will I suppose,     You can taste my verse or prose.     IX     You no more at me shall fret,     While I teach and you forget.     X     You shall never hear me thunder,     When you blunder on, and blunder.     XI     Show your poverty of spirit,     And in dress place all your merit;     Give yourself ten thousand airs:     That with me shall break no squares.[2]     XII     Never will I give advice,     Till you please to ask me thrice:     Which if you in scorn reject,     'Twill be just as I expect.         Thus we both shall have our ends,         And continue special friends.