Thirty-Nine

O hapless day! O wretched day!     I hoped you'd pass me by--     Alas, the years have sneaked away     And all is changed but I!     Had I the power, I would remand     You to a gloom condign,     But here you've crept upon me and     I--I am thirty-nine!     Now, were I thirty-five, I could     Assume a flippant guise;     Or, were I forty years, I should     Undoubtedly look wise;     For forty years are said to bring     Sedateness superfine;     But thirty-nine don't mean a thing--      bas with thirty-nine!     You healthy, hulking girls and boys,--     What makes you grow so fast?     Oh, I'll survive your lusty noise--     I'm tough and bound to last!     No, no--I'm old and withered too--     I feel my powers decline     (Yet none believes this can be true     Of one at thirty-nine).     And you, dear girl with velvet eyes,     I wonder what you mean     Through all our keen anxieties     By keeping sweet sixteen.     With your dear love to warm my heart,     Wretch were I to repine;     I was but jesting at the start--     I'm glad I'm thirty-nine!     So, little children, roar and race     As blithely as you can,     And, sweetheart, let your tender grace     Exalt the Day and Man;     For then these factors (I'll engage)     All subtly shall combine     To make both juvenile and sage     The one who's thirty-nine!     Yes, after all, I'm free to say     I would much rather be     Standing as I do stand to-day,     'Twixt devil and deep sea;     For though my face be dark with care     Or with a grimace shine,     Each haply falls unto my share,     For I am thirty-nine!     'Tis passing meet to make good cheer     And lord it like a king,     Since only once we catch the year     That doesn't mean a thing.     O happy day! O gracious day!     I pledge thee in this wine--     Come, let us journey on our way     A year, good Thirty-Nine!     Sept. 2, 1889.