The Way It Wuz.

Las' July - an', I persume         'Bout as hot      As the ole Gran'-Jury room         Where they sot! -      Fight 'twixt Mike an' Dock McGriff -      'Pears to me jes' like as if         I'd a dremp' the whole blame thing -          Allus ha'nts me roun' the gizzard         When they're nightmares on the wing,             An' a feller's blood's jes' friz!          Seed the row from a to izzard -         'Cause I wuz a-standin' as clost to 'em             As me an' you is!      Tell you the way it wuz -         An' I do n't want to see,      Like some fellers does,         When they 're goern to be      Any kind o' fuss -      On'y makes a rumpus wuss         Far to interfere          When their dander's riz -      But I wuz a-standin' as clost to 'em      As me an' you is!      I wuz kind o' strayin'         Past the blame saloon -      Heerd some fiddler playin'         That "ole hee-cup tune!"      Sort o' stopped, you know,      Far a minit er so,         And wuz jes' about      Settin' down, when - Jeemses-whizz!         Whole durn winder-sash fell out!      An' there laid Doc McGriff, and Mike      A-straddlin' him, all bloody-like,         An' both a-gittin' down to biz! -      An' I wuz a-standin' as clost to 'em          As me an' you is!      I wuz the on'y man aroun' -      (Durn old-fogy town!         'Peared more like, to me,          Sund'y 'an Saturd'y!)         Dog come 'crost the road          An' tuck a smell             An' put right back;         Mishler driv by 'ith a load          O' cantalo'pes he couldn't sell -             Too mad, 'y jack!         To even ast         What wuz up, as he went past!      Weather most outrageous hot! -          Fairly hear it sizz      Roun' Dock an' Mike - till Dock he shot,          An' Mike he slacked that grip o' his          An' fell, all spraddled out. Dock riz         'Bout half up, a-spittin' red,         An' shuck his head -      An' I wuz a-standin' as clost to 'em         As me an' you is!      An' Dock he says,         A-whisperin'-like, -         "It hain't no use         A-tryin'! - Mike          He's jes' ripped my daylights loose! -      Git that blame-don fiddler to      Let up, an' come out here - You      Got some burryin' to do, -         Mike makes one, an' I expects      In ten seconds I'll make two!"         And he drapped back, where he riz,      'Crost Mike's body, black and blue,         Like a great big letter X! -      An' I wuz a-standin' as clost to 'em         As me an' you is!