The Merman

I     Who would be         A merman gay,         Singing alone,         Sitting alone,     With a mermaid's knee,         For instance - hey -             For a throne?     II     I would be a merman gay;         I would sit and sing the whole day long;     I would fill my lungs with the strongest brine,         And squirt it up in a spray of song,     And soak my head in my liquid voice;         I'd curl my tail in curves divine,     And let each curve in a kink rejoice.         I'd tackle the mermaids under the sea,     And yank 'em around till they yanked me,             Sportively, sportively;     And then we would wiggle away, away,     To the pea-green groves on the coast of day,             Chasing each other sportively.     III     There would be neither moon nor star;     But the waves would twang like a wet guitar     Low thunder and thrum in the darkness grum -             Neither moon nor star;     We would shriek aloud in the dismal dales -     Shriek at each other and squawk and squeal,             "All night!" rakishly, rakishly;     They would pelt me with oysters and wiggletails,     Laughing and clapping their hands at me,             "All night!" prankishly, prankishly;     But I would toss them back in mine,     Lobsters and turtles of quaint design;     Then leaping out in an abrupt way,     I'd snatch them bald in my devilish glee,     And skip away when they snatched at me,             Fiendishly, fiendishly.     O, what a jolly life I'd lead,     Ah, what a "bang-up" life indeed!     Soft are the mermaids under the sea -     We would live merrily, merrily.