The Gadfly

All gentle folks who owe a grudge     To any living thing     Open your ears and stay your t[r]udge     Whilst I in dudgeon sing.     The Gadfly he hath stung me sore     O may he ne'er sting you!     But we have many a horrid bore     He may sting black and blue.     Has any here an old grey Mare     With three legs all her store,     O put it to her Buttocks bare     And straight she'll run on four.     Has any here a Lawyer suit     Of 1743,     Take Lawyer's nose and put it to't     And you the end will see.     Is there a Man in Parliament     Dum[b-] founder'd in his speech,     O let his neighbour make a rent     And put one in his breech.     O Lowther how much better thou     Hadst figur'd t'other day     When to the folks thou mad'st a bow     And hadst no more to say.     If lucky Gadfly had but ta'en     His seat     And put thee to a little pain     To save thee from a worse.     Better than Southey it had been,     Better than Mr. D-------,     Better than Wordsworth too, I ween,     Better than Mr. V-------.     Forgive me pray good people all     For deviating so --     In spirit sure I had a call --     And now I on will go.     Has any here a daughter fair     Too fond of reading novels,     Too apt to fall in love with care     And charming Mister Lovels,     O put a Gadfly to that thing     She keeps so white and pert --     I mean the finger for the ring,     And it will breed a wort.     Has any here a pious spouse     Who seven times a day     Scolds as King David pray'd, to chouse     And have her holy way --     O let a Gadfly's little sting     Persuade her sacred tongue     That noises are a common thing,     But that her bell has rung.     And as this is the summon bo     num of all conquering,     I leave "withouten wordes mo"     The Gadfly's little sting.