Self-Congratulation

Ellen, you were thoughtless once     Of beauty or of grace,     Simple and homely in attire,     Careless of form and face;     Then whence this change? and wherefore now     So often smooth your hair?     And wherefore deck your youthful form     With such unwearied care?     Tell us, and cease to tire our ears     With that familiar strain,     Why will you play those simple tunes     So often, o'er again?     'Indeed, dear friends, I can but say     That childhood's thoughts are gone;     Each year its own new feelings brings,     And years move swiftly on:     'And for these little simple airs,     I love to play them o'er     So much, I dare not promise, now,     To play them never more.'     I answered, and it was enough;     They turned them to depart;     They could not read my secret thoughts,     Nor see my throbbing heart.     I've noticed many a youthful form,     Upon whose changeful face     The inmost workings of the soul     The gazer well might trace;     The speaking eye, the changing lip,     The ready blushing cheek,     The smiling, or beclouded brow,     Their different feelings speak.     But, thank God! you might gaze on mine     For hours, and never know     The secret changes of my soul     From joy to keenest woe.     Last night, as we sat round the fire     Conversing merrily,     We heard, without, approaching steps     Of one well known to me!     There was no trembling in my voice,     No blush upon my cheek,     No lustrous sparkle in my eyes,     Of hope, or joy, to speak;     But, oh! my spirit burned within,     My heart beat full and fast!     He came not nigh, he went away,     And then my joy was past.     And yet my comrades marked it not:     My voice was still the same;     They saw me smile, and o'er my face     No signs of sadness came.     They little knew my hidden thoughts;     And they will never know     The aching anguish of my heart,     The bitter burning woe