Resolutions Passed At A Late Meeting Of Reverends And Right Reverends.

Resolved--to stick to every particle     Of every Creed and every Article;     Reforming naught, or great or little,     We'll stanchly stand by every tittle,     And scorn the swallow of that soul     Which cannot boldly bolt the whole.[1]     Resolved that tho' St. Athanasius     In damning souls is rather spacious--     Tho' wide and far his curses fall,     Our Church "hath stomach for them all;"     And those who're not content with such,     May e'en be damned ten times as much.     Resolved--such liberal souls are we--     Tho' hating Nonconformity,     We yet believe the cash no worse is     That comes from Nonconformist purses.     Indifferent whence the money reaches     The pockets of our reverend breeches,     To us the Jumper's jingling penny     Chinks with a tone as sweet as any;     And even our old friends Yea and Nay     May thro' the nose for ever pray,     If also thro' the nose they'll pay.     Resolved that Hooper,[2] Latimer,[3]     And Cranmer,[4] all extremely err,     In taking such a low-bred view     Of what Lords Spiritual ought to do:--     All owing to the fact, poor men,     That Mother Church was modest then,     Nor knew what golden eggs her goose,     The Public, would in time produce.     One Pisgah peep at modern Durham     To far more lordly thoughts would stir 'em.     Resolved that when we Spiritual Lords     Whose income just enough affords     To keep our Spiritual Lordships cosey,     Are told by Antiquarians prosy     How ancient Bishops cut up theirs,     Giving the poor the largest shares--     Our answer is, in one short word,     We think it pious but absurd.     Those good men made the world their debtor,     But we, the Church reformed, know better;     And taking all that all can pay,     Balance the account the other way.     Resolved our thanks profoundly due are     To last month's Quarterly Reviewer,     Who proves by arguments so clear     (One sees how much he holds per year)     That England's Church, tho' out of date,     Must still be left to lie in state,     As dead, as rotten and as grand as     The mummy of King Osymandyas,     All pickled snug--the brains drawn out--     With costly cerements swathed about,--     And "Touch me not," those words terrific,     Scrawled o'er her in good hieroglyphic.