On Don Surly

Don Surly, to aspire the glorious name Of a great man, and to be thought the same, Makes serious use of all great trade he know. He speaks to men with a Rhinocerotes' nose, Which he thinks great; and so reads verses too, 5 And that is done as he saw great men do. He has timpanies of business in his face, And can forget men's names with a great grace. He will both argue and discourse in oaths, Both which are great; and laugh at ill-made clothes 10 That's greater yetto cry his own up neat. He doth, at meals, alone his pheasant eat, Which is main greatness; and at his still board He drinks to no man; that's, too, like a lord. He keeps another's wife, which is a spice 15 Of solemn greatness. And he dares, at dice, Blaspheme God greatly, or some poor hind beat That breathes in his dog's way; and this is great. Nay more, for greatness' sake, he will be one May hear my epigrams, but like of none, 20 Surly, use other arts; these only can Style thee a most great fool, but no great man.