My Jolly Friend's Secret

Ah, friend of mine, how goes it         Since you've taken you a mate? -      Your smile, though, plainly shows it         Is a very happy state!      Dan Cupid's necromancy!         You must sit you down and dine,      And lubricate your fancy         With a glass or two of wine.      And as you have "deserted,"         As my other chums have done,      While I laugh alone diverted,         As you drop off one by one - -      And I've remained unwedded,         Till - you see - look here - that I'm,      In a manner, "snatched bald-headed"         By the sportive hand of Time!      I'm an "old 'un!" yes, but wrinkles         Are not so plenty, quite,      As to cover up the twinkles         Of the boy - ain't I right?      Yet there are ghosts of kisses         Under this mustache of mine      My mem'ry only misses         When I drown 'em out with wine.      From acknowledgment so ample,         You would hardly take me for      What I am - a perfect sample         Of a "jolly bachelor";      Not a bachelor has being         When he laughs at married life      But his heart and soul's agreeing         That he ought to have a wife!      Ah, ha! old chum, this claret,         Like Fatima, holds the key      Of the old Blue-Beardish garret         Of my hidden mystery!      Did you say you'd like to listen?         Ah, my boy! the "Sad No More!"      And the tear-drops that will glisten -         Turn the catch upon the door,      And sit you down beside me         And put yourself at ease -      I'll trouble you to slide me         That wine decanter, please;      The path is kind o' mazy         Where my fancies have to go,      And my heart gets sort o' lazy         On the journey - don't you know?      Let me see - when I was twenty -         It's a lordly age, my boy,      When a fellow's money's plenty,         And the leisure to enjoy -      And a girl - with hair as golden         As - that; and lips - well - quite      As red as this I'm holdin'         Between you and the light?      And eyes and a complexion -         Ah, heavens! - le'-me-see -      Well, - just in this connection, -         Did you lock that door for me?      Did I start in recitation         My past life to recall?      Well, that's an indication         I am purty tight - that's all!