Epitaph On General Gorges,[1] And Lady Meath[2]

Under this stone lies Dick and Dolly.     Doll dying first, Dick grew melancholy;     For Dick without Doll thought living a folly.     Dick lost in Doll a wife tender and dear:     But Dick lost by Doll twelve hundred a-year;     A loss that Dick thought no mortal could bear.     Dick sigh'd for his Doll, and his mournful arms cross'd;     Thought much of his Doll, and the jointure he lost;     The first vex'd him much, the other vex'd most.     Thus loaded with grief, Dick sigh'd and he cried:     To live without both full three days he tried;     But liked neither loss, and so quietly died.     Dick left a pattern few will copy after:     Then, reader, pray shed some tears of salt water;     For so sad a tale is no subject of laughter.          Meath smiles for the jointure, though gotten so late;     The son laughs, that got the hard-gotten estate;     And Cuffe[3] grins, for getting the Alicant plate.     Here quiet they lie, in hopes to rise one day,     Both solemnly put in this hole on a Sunday,     And here rest -    - sic transit gloria mundi!