Dick's Variety

Dull uniformity in fools     I hate, who gape and sneer by rules;     You, Mullinix, and slobbering C -    -     Who every day and hour the same are     That vulgar talent I despise     Of pissing in the rabble's eyes.     And when I listen to the noise     Of idiots roaring to the boys;     To better judgment still submitting,     I own I see but little wit in:     Such pastimes, when our taste is nice,     Can please at most but once or twice.         But then consider Dick, you'll find     His genius of superior kind;     He never muddles in the dirt,     Nor scours the streets without a shirt;     Though Dick, I dare presume to say,     Could do such feats as well as they.     Dick I could venture everywhere,     Let the boys pelt him if they dare,     He'd have them tried at the assizes     For priests and jesuits in disguises;     Swear they were with the Swedes at Bender,     And listing troops for the Pretender.         But Dick can f - t, and dance, and frisk,     No other monkey half so brisk;     Now has the speaker by his ears,     Next moment in the House of Peers;     Now scolding at my Lady Eustace,     Or thrashing Baby in her new stays.[1]     Presto! begone; with t'other hop     He's powdering in a barber's shop;     Now at the antichamber thrusting     His nose, to get the circle just in;     And damns his blood that in the rear     He sees a single Tory there:     Then woe be to my lord-lieutenant,     Again he'll tell him, and again on't[2]