Cristina

I.     She should never have looked at me     If she meant I should not love her!     There are plenty . . . men, you call such,     I suppose . . . she may discover     All her soul to, if she pleases,     And yet leave much as she found them:     But Im not so, and she knew it     When she fixed me, glancing round them, II.     What? To fix me thus meant nothing?     But I cant tell . . . theres my weakness . . .     What her look said! no vile cant, sure,     About need to strew the bleakness     Of some lone shore with its pearl-seed.     That the sea feels no strange yearning     That such souls have, most to lavish     Where theres chance of least returning. III.     Oh, were sunk enough here, God knows!     But not quite so sunk that moments,     Sure tho seldom, are denied us,     When the spirits true endowments     Stand out plainly from its false ones,     And apprise it if pursuing     Or the right way or the wrong way,     To its triumph or undoing. IV.     There are flashes struck from midnights,     There are fire-flames noondays kindle,     Whereby piled-up honours perish,     Whereby swollen ambitions dwindle,     While just this or that poor impulse,     Which for once had play unstifled,     Seems the sole work of a life-time     That away the rest have trifled. V.     Doubt you if, in some such moment,     As she fixed me, she felt clearly,     Ages past the soul existed,     Here an age tis resting merely,     And hence fleets again for ages,     While the true end, sole and single,     It stops here for is, this love-way,     With some other soul to mingle? VI.     Else it loses what it lived for,     And eternally must lose it;     Better ends may be in prospect,     Deeper blisses (if you choose it),     But this lifes end and this love-bliss     Have been lost here. Doubt you whether     This she felt as, looking at me,     Mine and her souls rushed together? VII.     Oh, observe! Of course, next moment,     The worlds honours, in derision,     Trampled out the light for ever:     Never fear but theres provision     Of the devils to quench knowledge     Lest we walk the earth in rapture!     Making those who catch Gods secret     Just so much more prize their capture! VIII.     Such am I: the secrets mine now!     She has lost me, I have gained her;     Her souls mine: and thus, grown perfect,     I shall pass my lifes remainder.     Life will just hold out the proving     Both our powers, alone and blended:     And then, come next life quickly!     This worlds use will have been ended.