Bud's Fairy-Tale

Some peoples thinks they ain't no Fairies now     No more yet! - But they is, I bet! 'Cause ef     They wuzn't Fairies, nen I' like to know     Who'd w'ite 'bout Fairies in the books, an' tell     What Fairies does, an' how their picture looks,     An' all an' ever'thing! W'y, ef they don't     Be Fairies anymore, nen little boys     'U'd ist sleep when they go to sleep an' wont     Have ist no dweams at all, - 'Cause Fairies - good     Fairies - they're a-purpose to make dweams!     But they is Fairies - an' I know they is!     'Cause one time wunst, when its all Summertime,     An' don't haf to be no fires in the stove     Er fireplace to keep warm wiv - ner don't haf     To wear old scwatchy flannen shirts at all,     An' aint no fweeze - ner cold - ner snow! - An' - an'     Old skweeky twees got all the gween leaves on     An' ist keeps noddin', noddin' all the time,     Like they 'uz lazy an' a-twyin' to go     To sleep an' couldn't, 'cause the wind won't quit     A-blowin' in 'em, an' the birds won't stop     A-singin' so's they kin. - But twees don't sleep,     I guess! But little boys sleeps - an' dweams, too. -     An' that's a sign they's Fairies.         So, one time,     When I ben playin' "Store" wunst over in     The shed of their old stable, an' Ed Howard     He maked me quit a-bein' pardners, 'cause     I dwinked the 'tend-like sody-water up     An' et the shore-nuff cwackers. - W'y, nen I     Clumbed over in our garden where the gwapes     Wuz purt'-nigh ripe: An' I wuz ist a-layin'     There on th' old cwooked seat 'at Pa maked in     Our arber, - an' so I 'uz layin' there     A-whittlin' beets wiv my new dog-knife, an'     A-lookin' wite up through the twimbly leaves -     An' wuzn't 'sleep at all! - An'-sir! - first thing     You know, a little Fairy hopped out there!     A leetle-teenty Fairy! - hope-may-die!     An' he look' down at me, he did - An' he     Ain't bigger'n a yellerbird! - an' he     Say "Howdy-do!" he did - an' I could hear     Him - ist as plain!         Nen I say "Howdy-do!"     An' he say "I'm all hunkey, Nibsey; how     Is your folks comin' on?"         An' nen I say     "My name ain't 'Nibsey,' neever - my name's Bud.     An' what's your name?" I says to him.         An'he     Ist laugh an' say "'Bud's' awful funny name!"     An' he ist laid back on a big bunch o' gwapes     An' laugh' an' laugh', he did - like somebody     'Uz tick-el-un his feet!         An' nen I say -     "What's your name," nen I say, "afore you bust     Yo'-se'f a-laughin' 'bout my name?" I says.     An' nen he dwy up laughin' - kindo' mad -     An' say "W'y, my name's Squidjicum," he says.     An' nen I laugh an' say - "Gee! what a name!"     An' when I make fun of his name, like that,     He ist git awful mad an' spunky, an'     'Fore you know, he ist gwabbed holt of a vine -     A big long vine 'at's danglin' up there, an'     He ist helt on wite tight to that, an' down     He swung quick past my face, he did, an' ist     Kicked at me hard's he could!         But I'm too quick     Fer Mr. Squidjicum! I ist weached out     An' ketched him, in my hand - an' helt him, too,     An' squeezed him, ist like little wobins when     They can't fly yet an' git flopped out their nest.     An' nen I turn him all wound over, an'     Look at him clos't, you know - wite clos't, - 'cause ef     He is a Fairy, w'y, I want to see     The wings he's got - But he's dwessed up so fine     'At I can't see no wings. - An' all the time     He's twyin' to kick me yet: An' so I take     F'esh holts an' squeeze agin - an' harder, too;     An' I says, "Hold up, Mr. Squidjicum! -     You're kickin' the w'ong man!" I says; an' nen     I ist squeeze' him, purt'-nigh my best, I did -     An' I heerd somepin' bust! - An' nen he cwied     An' says, "You better look out what you're doin'! -     You' bust' my spiderweb-suspen'ners, an'     You' got my woseleaf-coat all cwinkled up     So's I can't go to old Miss Hoodjicum's     Tea-party, 's'afternoon!"         An' nen I says -     "Who's 'old Miss Hoodjicum'?" I says         An'he     Says "Ef you lemme loose I'll tell you."         So     I helt the little skeezics 'way fur out     In one hand - so's he can't jump down t' th' ground     Wivout a-gittin' all stove up: an' nen     I says, "You're loose now. - Go ahead an' tell     'Bout the 'tea-party' where you're goin' at     So awful fast!" I says.         An' nen he say, -     "No use to tell you 'bout it, 'cause you won't     Believe it, 'less you go there your own se'f     An' see it wiv your own two eyes!" he says.     An' he says: "Ef you lemme shore-nuff loose,     An' p'omise 'at you'll keep wite still, an' won't     Tetch nothin' 'at you see - an' never tell     Nobody in the world - an' lemme loose -     W'y, nen I'll take you there!"         But I says, "Yes     An' ef I let you loose, you'll run!" I says.     An' he says "No, I won't! - I hope may die!"     Nen I says, "Cwoss your heart you won't!"         An'he     Ist cwoss his heart; an' nen I weach an' set     The little feller up on a long vine -     An' he 'uz so tickled to git loose agin,     He gwab' the vine wiv boff his little hands     An' ist take an' turn in, he did, an' skin     'Bout forty-'leven cats!         Nen when he git     Through whirlin' wound the vine, an' set on top     Of it agin, w'y nen his "woseleaf-coat"     He bwag so much about, it's ist all tored     Up, an' ist hangin' strips an' rags - so he     Look like his Pa's a dwunkard. An' so nen     When he see what he's done - a-actin' up     So smart, - he's awful mad, I guess; an' ist     Pout out his lips an' twis' his little face     Ist ugly as he kin, an' set an' tear     His whole coat off - an' sleeves an' all. - An' nen     He wad it all togevver an' ist throw     It at me ist as hard as he kin dwive!     An' when I weach to ketch him, an' 'uz goin'     To give him 'nuvver squeezin', he ist flewed     Clean up on top the arber! - 'Cause, you know,     They wuz wings on him - when he tored his coat     Clean off - they wuz wings under there. But they     Wuz purty wobbly-like an' wouldn't work     Hardly at all - 'Cause purty soon, when I     Throwed clods at him, an' sticks, an' got him shooed     Down off o' there, he come a-floppin' down     An' lit k-bang! on our old chicken-coop,     An' ist laid there a-whimper'n' like a child!     An' I tiptoed up wite clos't, an' I says "What's     The matter wiv ye, Squidjicum?"         An'he     Says: "Dog-gone! when my wings gits stwaight agin,     Where you all cwumpled 'em," he says, "I bet     I'll ist fly clean away an' won't take you     To old Miss Hoodjicum's at all!" he says.     An' nen I ist weach out wite quick, I did,     An' gwab the sassy little snipe agin -     Nen tooked my topstwing an' tie down his wings     So's he can't fly, 'less'n I want him to!     An' nen I says: "Now, Mr. Squidjicum,     You better ist light out," I says, "to old     Miss Hoodjicum's, an' show me how to git     There, too," I says; "er ef you don't," I says,     "I'll climb up wiv you on our buggy-shed     An' push you off!" I says.         An nen he say     All wight, he'll show me there; an' tell me nen     To set him down wite easy on his feet,     An' loosen up the stwing a little where     It cut him under th' arms. An' nen he says,     "Come on!" he says; an' went a-limpin' 'long     The garden-path - an' limpin' 'long an' 'long     Tel - purty soon he come on 'long to where's     A grea'-big cabbage-leaf. An' he stoop down     An' say "Come on inunder here wiv me!"     So I stoop down an' crawl inunder there,     Like he say.         An' inunder there's a grea'     Big clod, they is - a awful grea' big clod!     An' nen he says, "Roll this-here clod away!"     An' so I roll' the clod away. An' nen     It's all wet, where the dew'z inunder where     The old clod wuz, - an' nen the Fairy he     Git on the wet-place: Nen he say to me     "Git on the wet-place, too!" An' nen he say,     "Now hold yer breff an' shet yer eyes!" he says,     "Tel I say Squinchy-winchy!" Nen he say -     Somepin in Dutch, I guess. - An' nen I felt     Like we 'uz sinkin' down - an' sinkin' down! -     Tel purty soon the little Fairy weach     An' pinch my nose an' yell at me an' say,     "Squinchy-winchy! Look wherever you please!"     Nen when I looked - Oh! they 'uz purtyest place     Down there you ever saw in all the World! -     They 'uz ist flowers an' woses - yes, an' twees     Wiv blossoms on an' big ripe apples boff!     An' butterflies, they wuz - an' hummin'-birds -     An' yellowbirds an' bluebirds - yes, an' red! -     An' ever'wheres an' all awound 'uz vines     Wiv ripe p'serve-pears on 'em! - Yes, an' all     An' ever'thing 'at's ever gwowin' in     A garden - er canned up - all ripe at wunst! -     It wuz ist like a garden - only it     'Uz little tit o' garden - 'bout big wound     As ist our twun'el-bed is. - An' all wound     An' wound the little garden's a gold fence -     An' little gold gate, too - an' ash-hopper     'At's all gold, too - an' ist full o' gold ashes!     An' wite in th' middle o' the garden wuz     A little gold house, 'at's ist 'bout as big     As ist a bird-cage is: An' in the house     They 'uz whole-lots more Fairies there - 'cause I     Picked up the little house, an 'peeked in at     The winders, an' I see 'em all in there     Ist buggin' wound! An' Mr. Squidjicum     He twy to make me quit, but I gwab him,     An' poke him down the chimbly, too, I did! -     An' y'ort to see him hop out 'mongst 'em there!     Ist like he 'uz the boss an' ist got back! -     "Hain't ye got on them-air dew-dumplin's yet?"     He says.                 An' they says no.         An' nen he says     "Better git at 'em nen!" he says, "wite quick -     'Cause old Miss Hoodjicum's a-comin'!"         Nen     They all set wound a little gold tub - an'     All 'menced a-peelin' dewdwops, ist like they     'Uz peaches. - An', it looked so funny, I     Ist laugh' out loud, an' dwopped the little house, -     An' 't busted like a soap-bubble! - An't skeered     Me so, I - I - I - I, - it skeered me so,     I - ist waked up. - No! I ain't ben asleep     An' dream it all, like you think, - but it's shore     Fer-certain fact an' cwoss my heart it is!