Billy's Alphabetical Animal Show.

A was an elegant Ape      Who tied up his ears with red tape,         And wore a long veil         Half revealing his tail      Which was trimmed with jet bugles and crape.      B was a boastful old Bear      Who used to say, - "Hoomh! I declare         I can eat - if you'll get me         The children, and let me -      Ten babies, teeth, toenails and hair!"      C was a Codfish who sighed      When snatched from the home of his pride,         But could he, embrined,         Guess this fragrance behind,      How glad he would be that he died!      D was a dandified Dog      Who said, - "Though it's raining like fog         I wear no umbrellah,         Me boy, for a fellah      Might just as well travel incog!"      E was an elderly Eel      Who would say, - "Well, I really feel -         As my grandchildren wriggle         And shout 'I should giggle' -      A trifle run down at the heel!"      F was a Fowl who conceded      Some hens might hatch more eggs than she did, -         But she'd children as plenty         As eighteen or twenty,      And that was quite all that she needed.      G was a gluttonous Goat      Who, dining one day, table-d'hote,         Ordered soup-bone, au fait,         And fish, papier-mache,      And a filet of Spring overcoat.      H was a high-cultured Hound      Who could clear forty feet at a bound,         And a coon once averred         That his howl could be heard      For five miles and three-quarters around.      I was an Ibex ambitious      To dive over chasms auspicious;         He would leap down a peak         And not light for a week,      And swear that the jump was delicious.      J was a Jackass who said      He had such a bad cold in his head,         If it wasn't for leaving         The rest of us grieving,      He'd really rather be dead.      K was a profligate Kite      Who would haunt the saloons every night;         And often he ust         To reel back to his roost      Too full to set up on it right.      L was a wary old Lynx      Who would say, - "Do you know wot I thinks? -         I thinks ef you happen         To ketch me a-nappin'      I'm ready to set up the drinks!"      M was a merry old Mole,      Who would snooze all the day in his hole,         Then - all night, a-rootin'         Around and galootin' -      He'd sing "Johnny, Fill up the Bowl!"      N was a caustical Nautilus      Who sneered, "I suppose, when they've caught all us,         Like oysters they'll serve us,         And can us, preserve us,      And barrel, and pickle, and bottle us!"      O was an autocrat Owl -      Such a wise - such a wonderful fowl!         Why, for all the night through         He would hoot and hoo-hoo,      And hoot and hoo-hooter and howl!      P was a Pelican pet,      Who gobbled up all he could get;         He could eat on until         He was full to the bill,      And there he had lodgings to let!      Q was a querulous Quail,      Who said: "It will little avail         The efforts of those         Of my foes who propose      To attempt to put salt on my tail!"      R was a ring-tailed Raccoon,      With eyes of the tinge of the moon,         And his nose a blue-black,         And the fur on his back      A sad sort of sallow maroon.      S is a Sculpin - you'll wish      Very much to have one on your dish,         Since all his bones grow         On the outside, and so      He's a very desirable fish.      T was a Turtle, of wealth,      Who went round with particular stealth, -         "Why," said he, "I'm afraid         Of being waylaid      When I even walk out for my health!"      U was a Unicorn curious,      With one horn, of a growth so luxurious,         He could level and stab it -         If you didn't grab it -      Clean through you, he was so blamed furious!      V was a vagabond Vulture      Who said: "I don't want to insult yer,         But when you intrude         Where in lone solitude      I'm a-preyin', you're no man o' culture!"      W was a wild Woodchuck,      And you can just bet that he could "chuck"         He'd eat raw potatoes,         Green corn, and tomatoes,      And tree roots, and call it all "good chuck!"      X was a kind of X-cuse      Of a some-sort-o'-thing that got loose         Before we could name it,         And cage it, and tame it,      And bring it in general use.      Y is the Yellowbird, - bright      As a petrified lump of star-light,         Or a handful of lightning-         Bugs, squeezed in the tight'ning      Pink fist of a boy, at night.      Z is the Zebra, of course! -      A kind of a clown-of-a-horse, -         Each other despising,         Yet neither devising      A way to obtain a divorce!      & here is the famous - what-is-it?      Walk up, Master Billy, and quiz it:         You've seen the rest of 'em -         Ain't this the best of 'em,      Right at the end of your visit?