A Bear Family

Wunst, 'way West in Illinoise,      Wuz two Bears an' their two boys:      An' the two boys' names, you know,      Wuz - like ours is, - Jim an' Jo;      An' their parunts' names wuz same's,      All big grown-up people's names, -      Ist Miz Bear, the neighbers call      'Em, an' Mister Bear - 'at's all.      Yes - an' Miz Bear scold him, too,      Ist like grown folks shouldn't do!      Wuz a grea'-big river there,      An', 'crosst that, 's a mountain where      Old Bear said some day he'd go,      Ef she don't quit scoldin'so!      So, one day when he been down      The river, fishin', 'most to town,      An' come back 'thout no fish a-tall,      An' Jim an' Jo they run an' bawl      An' tell their ma their pa hain't fetch'      No fish, - she scold again an' ketch      Her old broom up an' biff him, too. -      An' he ist cry, an' say, "Boo-hoo!      I told you what I 'd do some day'."      An' he ist turned an' runned away      To where's the grea'-big river there,      An' ist splunged in an' swum to where      The mountain's at, 'way th'other side,      An' clumbed up there. An' Miz Bear cried -      An' little Jo an' little Jim -      Ist like their ma - bofe cried fer him! -      But he clumbed on, clean out o' sight,      He wuz so mad! - An' served 'em right!      Nen - when the Bear got 'way on top      The mountain, he heerd somepin' flop      Its wings - an' somepin' else he heerd      A-rattlin'-like. - An' he wuz skeerd,      An' looked 'way up, an' - Mercy sake! -      It wuz a' Eagul an' a SNAKE!      An'-sir! the Snake, he bite an' kill'      The Eagul, an' they bofe fall till      They strike the ground - k'spang-k'spat! -      Wite where the Bear wuz standin' at!      An' when here come the Snake at him,      The Bear he think o' little Jim      An' Jo, he did - an' their ma, too, -      All safe at home; an' he ist flew      Back down the mountain - an' could hear      The old Snake rattlin', sharp an' clear,      Wite clos't behind! - An' Bear he's so      All tired out, by time, you know,      He git down to the river there,      He know' he can't swim back to where      His folks is at. But ist wite nen      He see a boat an' six big men      'At's been a-shootin' ducks: An' so      He skeerd them out the boat, you know,      An' ist jumped in - an' Snake he tried      To jump in, too, but failed outside      Where all the water wuz; an' so      The Bear grabs one the things you row      The boat wiv an' ist whacks the head      Of the old Snake an' kills him dead! -      An' when he's killed him dead, w'y, nen      The old Snake's drownded dead again!      Nen Bear set in the boat an' bowed      His back an' rowed - an' rowed - an' rowed -      Till he's safe home - so tired he can't      Do nothin' but lay there an' pant      An' tell his childern, "Bresh my coat!"      An' tell his wife, "Go chain my boat!"      An' they're so glad he's back, they say      "They knowed he's comin' thataway      To ist surprise the dear ones there!"      An' Jim an' Jo they dried his hair      An' pulled the burrs out; an' their ma      She ist set there an' helt his paw      Till he wuz sound asleep, an' nen      She tell' him she won't scold again -          Never - never - never -          Ferever an' ferever!