Edward Lear
Edward Lear (1812–1888) was an English artist, author, and poet known for his literary nonsense. His "Book of Nonsense" and poems like "The Owl and the Pussycat" popular…
"There was an old person of Sheen, Whose expression was calm and serene; He sate in the water, And drank bottled porter, That"
"There was an old man who screamed out Whenever they knocked him about: So they took off his boots, And fed him with fruits, A"
"There was a Young Lady whose chin, Resembled the point of a pin: So she had it made sharp, And purchased a harp, And played se"
"There was an old person of Cassel, Whose nose finished off in a tassel; But they call'd out, "Oh well! Don't it look like a bell!""
"There was an Old Person of Basing, Whose presence of mind was amazing; He purchased a steed, Which he rode at full speed, And"
"There was an old person in black, A Grasshopper jumped on his back; When it chirped in his ear, He was smitten with fear, Tha"
"There was an Old Man of Coblenz, The length of whose legs was immense; He went with one prance, From Turkey to France, That su"
"There was an old man, who when little Fell casually into a kettle; But, growing too stout, He could never get out, So he pass"
"There was an Old Lady of Chertsey, Who made a remarkable curtsey; She twirled round and round, Till she sunk underground, Whic"
"There was an old man of Spithead, Who opened the window, and said, - "Fil-jomble, fil-jumble, Fil-rumble-come-tumble!" That"
"There was an old person of Brill, Who purchased a shirt with a frill; But they said, "Don't you wish, You mayn't look like a fish,"
"There was a Young Lady of Norway, Who casually sat in a doorway; When the door squeezed her flat, She exclaimed, "What of that?""
"There was an Old Man on a hill, Who seldom, if ever, stood still; He ran up and down, In his Grandmother's gown, Which adorned"
"There was a Young Girl of Majorca, Whose aunt was a very fast walker; She walked seventy miles, And leaped fifteen stiles, Whi"
"There was a young person of Janina, Whose uncle was always a fanning her; When he fanned off her head, She smiled sweetly, and sai"
"There was an old man of Messina, Whose daughter was named Opsibeena; She wore a small wig, And rode out on a pig, To the perf"
"There was an Old Person of Hurst, Who drank when he was not athirst; When they said, "You'll grow fatter," He answered, "What matte"
"There was an old person of Putney, Whose food was roast spiders and chutney, Which he took with his tea, Within sight of the sea,"
"There was an old person of Sestri, Who sate himself down in the vestry; When they said, "You are wrong!" He merely said "Bong!""
"There was an old person of Dover, Who rushed through a field of blue Clover; But some very large bees, Stung his nose and his knees"
"There was an Old Man of Aosta, Who possessed a large Cow, but he lost her; But they said, "Don't you see, She has rushed up a tree?"
"I. She sate upon her Dobie, To watch the Evening Star, And all the Punkahs, as they passed, Cried, "My! how fair you are!"
"There was an Old Person of Tartary, Who divided his jugular artery; But he screeched to his wife, And she said, "Oh, my life!"
"The Lively Learned Lobster, who mended his own Clothes with a Needle and Thread."
"There was a young lady of Greenwich, Whose garments were border'd with Spinach; But a large spotty Calf Bit her shawl quite in hal"
"There lived an old man in the Kingdom of Tess, Who invented a purely original dress; And when it was perfectly made and complete, H"
"There was an Old Man of Jamaica, Who suddenly married a Quaker; But she cried out - "O lack! I have married a black!" Which di"
"There was an old man of Ibreem, Who suddenly threaten'd to scream; But they said, "If you do, We will thump you quite blue, Y"
"There was an Old Man of the Wrekin, Whose shoes made a horrible creaking; But they said, "Tell us whether, Your shoes are of leathe"
"A A was an Area Arch Where washerwomen sat; They made a lot of lovely starch To starch Papa's Cravat."
"There was a young lady in white, Who looked out at the depths of the night; But the birds of the air, Filled her heart with despai"
"The Worrying Whizzing Wasp, who stood on a Table, and played sweetly on a Flute with a Morning Cap."
"There was an Old Man at a Junction, Whose feelings were wrung with compunction When they said, "The Train's gone!" He exclaimed, ""
"There was a Young Lady whose eyes, Were unique as to colour and size; When she opened them wide, People all turned aside, And"
"There was an Old Man of Vienna, Who lived upon Tincture of Senna; When that did not agree, He took Camomile Tea, That nasty Ol"
"There was an Old Man of Peru, Who never knew what he should do; So he tore off his hair, And behaved like a bear, That intrins"
"There was an Old Man or Nepaul, From his horse had a terrible fall; But, though split quite in two, By some very strong glue,"
"There was an Old Man of Peru, Who watched his wife making a stew; But once by mistake, In a stove she did bake, That unfortuna"
"There was an old person of Blythe, Who cut up his meat with a scythe; When they said, "Well! I never!" He cried, "Scythes for ever"
"There was an Old Man of Leghorn, The smallest as ever was born; But quickly snapt up he, Was once by a puppy, Who devoured tha"
"There was an old Man in a Garden, Who always begged every one's pardon; When they asked him, "What for?" He replied, "You're a bor"
"There was an Old Man of Whitehaven, Who danced a quadrille with a Raven; But they said - "It's absurd, To encourage this bird!""
"There was an old Lady of Winchelsea, Who said, "If you needle or pin shall see On the floor of my room, Sweep it up with the broom"
"There was an Old Man of Dundee, Who frequented the top of a tree; When disturbed by the crows, He abruptly arose, And exclaime"
"There was an Old Man in a tree, Who was horribly bored by a Bee; When they said, "Does it buzz?" He replied, "Yes, it does! "I"
"There was an Old Person of Anerley, Whose conduct was strange and unmannerly; He rushed down the Strand, With a Pig in each hand,"
"There was an Old Person of Prague, Who was suddenly seized with the plague; But they gave him some butter, Which caused him to mutt"
"There was a young lady in blue, Who said, "Is it you? Is it you?" When they said, "Yes, it is," She replied only, "Whizz!" Th"
"There was an old man of Dunluce, Who went out to sea on a goose: When he'd gone out a mile, He observ'd with a smile, "It is"
"There was an old person of Loo, Who said, "What on earth shall I do?" When they said, "Go away!" She continued to stay, That"
"There was an Old Man with a flute, A sarpint ran into his boot; But he played day and night, Till the sarpint took flight, And"
"Who, or why, or which, or _what_, Is the Akond of SWAT? Is he tall or short, or dark or fair? Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or chair,"
"There was an Old Person of Buda, Whose conduct grew ruder and ruder; Till at last, with a hammer, They silenced his clamour, B"
"There was an old man of Ancona, Who found a small dog with no owner, Which he took up and down All the streets of the town, T"
"There was a Young Lady of Hull, Who was chased by a virulent Bull; But she seized on a spade, And called out - "Who's afraid!""
"There was a young person of Bantry, Who frequently slept in the pantry; When disturbed by the mice, She appeased them with rice,"
"There was an old person of Barnes, Whose garments were covered with darns; But they said, "Without doubt, You will soon wear them"
"There was an old person of Ickley, Who could not abide to ride quickly; He rode to Karnak On a tortoise's back, That moony ol"
"There was an old person of Dutton, Whose head was so small as a button; So to make it look big, He purchased a wig, And rapidl"
"When awful darkness and silence reign Over the great Gromboolian plain, Through the long, long wintry nights; When the angry"